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Working on New Year's Goals with the Autistic Adult? Try these three tips.

The NUMBER ONE mistake I see people make when trying to move forward is to make a goal that is not achievable.


FIRST: Understand the nervous system of the ASD individual to know the starting point for the goal.


For example, Robert Wadlow was the tallest man who ever lived. When he was one year old, he reached three feet five inches tall. At his tallest, he measured just under nine feet.


What would happen if his family gave him daily feedback that

they needed him to be shorter? Perhaps they had very good

reasons: he was too tall for the house, it hurt their necks to look up,

his height was hurting his health (he needed braces for his legs and

an infected blister eventually caused his death). Maybe they

created a consequence schedule for him including planned

rewards and punishments. Maybe they arranged for a "get

shorter "tutor."


Day after day and year after year, he only kept getting taller!

Even if he tried to crouch down or crawl instead of walk,

he wouldn't be able to reach the goal in a sustainable way. The only outcome would be shame and discouragement for Robert and frustration for his family.


If we don't understand what is achievable from a physical standpoint, we may ask people to reach goals they are incapable of reaching. For example, a person who is color blind will not benefit from daily "education and practice" about color perception and names. Don't create goals the ASD individual cannot meet neurologically.


SECOND: Start from the Beginning


Rather than identifying what you want the END point to be (loose 100 pounds, speak fluent French, or become a better conversationalist), looking at the end goal and trying to achieve that will set you up for failure. Instead, look at where you are NOW and think about what one step closer to the goal might look like.


Let's assume that an ASD individual has a goal of connecting better with coworkers. After much thought, she realizes that she doesn't greet people in the morning, follow up on things going on in their lives, stop by the offices of others to check in or compliment them, or apologize when she makes mistakes.


To set herself up for success, she decides to pick a first-step goal first: Greet others in the morning.


THIRD: What is my strategy?


You can't reach goals without a strategy. If we say we will "do better next time," and we rely on our will and desire to "do better", we will fail in the long term. That approach is not sustainable. Instead, think of a strategy for the improvement.


Perhaps the individual above decides she will set a timer for 6:55 am since she starts work at 7:00. The timer will go off with the message "greet coworkers." Although some may feel this leads to "false" social interactions, she really does want to connect better. However, her brain doesn't understand that her coworkers appreciate being acknowledged in the morning. Even though she doesn't need a greeting, many other people in the office do.


After a period of time, she can ask herself, is my approach to remembering to connect in the morning actually working. What is working well, and what part of my approach should I alter? If she achieves better morning interactions, then she can add a small step goal to move forward again.











Have you explored the website? Check out the many pages dedicated toward clinicians, autistic adults, and family members. You can read articles, find the podcast, or book sessions with Dr. Regan directly through the website. Have additional questions? Feel free to email Dr. Regan and her team using the contact form. 

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  • Can Dr. Regan suggest a provider in my state?
    Dr. Regan does not maintain a nationwide list of referral options at this time.
  • As a professional clinician, can I schedule an appointment with Dr. Regan?
    Dr. Regan offers various training opportunities for clinicians. Visit the "For Clinicians" page on her website for details on professional consultation appointments, CEU courses, and a free clinicians' group.
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    Appointments with Dr. Regan at OSF Saint Francis Medical Center are billed through the hospital, and any insurance accepted by the hospital can be used. Please verify coverage with your insurance provider before the appointment. Video appointments via Dr. Regan's website are self-pay. For more details, visit the video visits page.
  • Does Dr. Regan conduct diagnostic assessments?
    Dr. Regan specializes in autism assessments for adolescents, adults, and older adults, having completed over 1,000 evaluations, including around 400 for females. She performs diagnostic assessments exclusively at OSF Saint Francis Medical Center in Peoria, IL, with a current waitlist of about four years. While she does not offer diagnostic evaluations through her website, she provides one-hour video consultations on topics like communication, relationships, household living, emotional regulation, and work. These can be scheduled via the video visits page.
  • Can I schedule a video visit with Dr. Regan if I am out of state?
    Dr. Regan does not conduct diagnostic evaluations via video sessions. However, you can book a one-hour consultation to discuss daily living topics such as calming anxiety, effective communication, relationship repair, navigating neurodiverse households, and improving organization and productivity. Note that Dr. Regan cannot provide video consultations for individuals in Alaska, California, Guam, Iowa, Hawaii, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Montana, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, countries outside the USA, or Illinois due to contractual obligations with her employer.
  • How can I get on Dr. Regan's evaluation waitlist in Peoria?
    Dr. Regan conducts diagnostic assessments at OSF Saint Francis Medical Center in Peoria, IL. She sees patients aged 14 and older including adolescents, adults, and older adults. She has a four-year waitlist. To be placed on the waitlist, please have your physician call 309-655-7378 for instructions on how to send a referral. Once this is complete, a member of staff will contact you to hold your appointment date.

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